Tuesday, December 30, 2008


A pet care manual says: 
"Don't be alarmed when your cats bring you gifts of birds, mice, or other wild critters. This is a natural part of their gift ritual, and they do it to please you."
Reader, although this is a terribly crude interpretation of our cultural traditions, it is true that I have brought the tall ones many gifts over the years. This Christmas, I thought it fair that in return, I should be able to pick my own gift from beneath the tree. 

With careful analysis of the shape and smell of each package, I made my choice. It is only a coincidence that it is the largest gift beneath the tree. I hoped that they might throw in the card as well (it reeks of massage oil, and I could really use a spa day).

I am a patient cat, but I soon tired of waiting for the tall ones to notice me. Insulted, I took my leave.

I shouldn't be so hard on the tall ones. It isn't their fault they don't know how to speak properly, so how could they have understood even my most clear message? I decided to be the bigger cat, and brushed this one off. 

But just for good measure I vomited on their bed later that night. 

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